so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Dignity is for republicans.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
