yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Randomize
