I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
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