i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
