please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Randomize
