If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
Randomize
