Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Randomize
