So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
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