Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
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