Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
How external is "for external use only"?
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
