Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
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He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
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Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
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