I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
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