i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
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