please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
Too much gin, very little bucket
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Randomize
