I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
I am spending my child support on dildos
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
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