Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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