at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Randomize
