no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
