The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Fuck me I smell like cheese
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
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