I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
not ubering you a puppy
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Randomize
