You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize