Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
