Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
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