There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
