in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
