I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
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