My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
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Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
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