all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
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He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
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Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
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