Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
he laminated a picture of his dick.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
