There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
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