Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Randomize