I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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