LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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