um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I think your dad took our porno
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
