I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Randomize