there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Randomize