think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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