Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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