we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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