where does the pee come out of this thing
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize