Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
