It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
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