no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
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Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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