I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
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