i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Randomize
