He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
