shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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