jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
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