what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
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