they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
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