I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Randomize
