wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
she smelled like a LAN party
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
You need Xanax blowdarts
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Why did my mother make you get naked?
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
