I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
only if we run a train.
done.
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Randomize