Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
she woke up with a sticky ear
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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