I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
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