1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
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