puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
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