so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
