thus making me awesome and them whores
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Randomize
