Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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