I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
