We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Randomize
