Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
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