somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
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