if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
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